Dear TMnet, you're like a cheating wife

Here's a common marriage vow,

I, Joshua, take you, TMnet, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

A marriage vow = A contract.

After reviewing the contract, it is obvious TMnet is a cheating wife. Why you ask? Allow me to explain.

1. To be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.
(To be my default, stable and reliable internet connection from this day forward.)

At home, I can only rely on TMnet (wife) to go online. I don't cheat on you by using broadband (keep a mistress) or go to cybercafe (find prostitutes).The problem is you are not stable and not reliable. So how can I make you my default internet connection? (How can I be faithful to you?)

2. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow.
(In black and white, I promise to pay the monthly subscription fee whether I am sick or healthy, in good times and in bad, and when I'm happy as well as sad. Doesn't matter what emotion lah because I will pay if got money!!!)

It doesn't matter how I feel because I will pay the monthly bills for sure. I pay for a reason. To connect to the Internet and do whatever I need and want to do. If I can't connect and get my needs and wants done, how can I be happy? It's not like I pay you late or didn't pay at all. I pay the fee constantly so your services also need to be constant also ma. But are you consistent or not? MY BOWEL MOVEMENT IS MORE CONSISTENT THAN YOU AR!!!
 
3. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
(I promise to connect to Internet using you only, to pay whatever miscellaneous fee you incur as long as we both live.)


What else can I say? If I don't connect to Internet using TMnet, what can I use to connect leh? Keeping a mistress or finding prostitutes need money lar. A mistress is like a broadband. Can have contract or no contract one. Main point is you can bring to anywhere and no need to worry about hardware (commitment) cause you just need to plug in the USB modem. Finding prostitutes is like going to cyber cafe because frequent visits require a lot of money. And if you are unlucky, you might kena STD (virus, trojan or malware).
I spend all my money on you so how can I find a substitute? Unless I rich lar. Even if I rich, I rather keep a mistress cause I can cut contract without paying extra fee. (something like after the divorce, need to pay alimony)

All I can say is I am a faithful husband (user). Please don't cheat on me lar. GIVE ME YOUR FULL SERVICE DAY AND NIGHT PLEASE. (ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT! XD)

Replace 'Internet' with 'TMnet'