Don't try to change people

If you're planning to change someone's life, I suggest you read this.

Don't try to change people especially when they're happy and content. Happy people don't want anything to change. They want everything to remain the same. If they think that they have enough in life, why would they want anything to change? Let me give an example through a story.

A youngster who grew up in a rural village decided to move to the city to look for better opportunities. After several years, the youngster has grown into a fine man with a stable job. He thought of his parents who are still living in the old dilapidated wooden house and decided that he wants his parents to live a better life. He called back home and asked them to consider moving to the city. The parents did not promise anything but planned to visit the city as soon as possible. After a few days of living in the city, the parents decided they want to go back. The man asked why with extreme curiosity. To his son's question the father answered:

"My dear son, the city is as marvelous as you've told us through our phone conversations. Everything is good here. I know back at the village we don't have a running water tap and electricity. But the air here is polluted compared to the fresh air we breathe everyday back at home. And also your mother and I have not been sleeping well these few nights due to the hustle and bustle."

The man kept silent and decided not to question his parent's decision to return back to the village. I'm sure many of you have heard this kind of story. Moral of the story? Better things in life do not keep you happy or content.

This is how change looks like to most people.

 Now let's think about yourself. Why do you want to change other people? Why use your precious time and energy to do so? What is your purpose? 

Imagine this world is like an online game with a leveling system. Everyone has a rank on that system. If you want to increase your rank, you have to spend your time and energy to gain experience in order to level up. But if you were to help someone else, you would spend your time and energy on them. The person you're helping will increase in level and maybe exceed your level. But you won't gain any experience because you didn't use the energy and time to do so.

Now we apply the concept I've just mentioned. When you try to change someone, you use up your time and energy. If that person does not accept your help, your efforts would be wasted. Some people might say, "I am happy if I can make others happy". These kinds of people think that if they can change the lives of other people, those people will be happier. Refer to my first point. The conditions of people being happy and content vary. Don't change people to be like you. You may be happy and content with your way of life, others may not. Different people, different perspectives. Instead, why don't you use your OWN precious time and energy to 'level up' yourself instead?

One last thing to consider before you decide to change other people. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. If you're not any better than the person you're trying to change, what makes you think you have the right to change them? 

Before I conclude this post, I must point out that humans are a very stubborn lot. Once again, apply the 'happy+content' formula and you will realize that humans do not like to be out of their comfort zone. Any changes that threaten the comfort zone will result in the wrath of the inhabitants. Naturally, humans will reject any changes because it is the natural defense mechanism. Take a look at the world history. If changes can be implemented so easily, there won't be so many wars and revolutions.

Change won't happen unless you're one of the leftovers.

Finally, this post is inspired by The Bee and The Fly written by Ah Yap. My favourite phrase from this particular post would be:

'And once I managed to realize something, I no longer try to change people. I do blog for people who are willing to read. But I have sworn to myself that I will not actively trying to change/help people.'
 
I somehow think my post is similar to what he has written but mine is a more positive version. Hahaha! Must read his post!!

Here's one of my favourite Kpop songs. 'Change' by Hyuna. Sexy and feisty. The lyrics might mean something. :P